PAGE: Good riddance, Elvira

Charleston Page is an award-nominated journalist who has seen his work represented in such esteemed outlets as the Washington Times, WorldNetDaily, and Red States Propagandi. For several weeks in 2004, he was an on-air personality for Fox News Channel. In October of 2004, Page was released from his contract with News Corp after inciting a race riot and firing a weapon while immersed in Iraq. Now, 3 years later, Page returns to the frontiers of extreme journalism with his semi-weekly online blog at REMAIN ALERT.

I cannot tell you the emotion I felt when I heard Elvira Arellano was back in her miserable shit-box country. It might have been euphoria. It could have been immense pride that our civilian framework was back to working. It might have been disgust. But certainly, we all felt a little relieved!

Ever since GW declared it hunting season on illegals, I had been waiting for one of these martyrs to be discovered. Personally, I had suspected it might be the woman with Forest Whitaker at that immigration rally who lets her cell phone disrupt the crowd. I think she was really indicative of an immigrants belief structure: that THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO THEM!

Why can't they just fly here like normal people? Why must they sneak across the desert? What are they hiding under those ponchos? I'm no racist, but at the same time, I'm no Clinton either. If you think I'm going to roll over while Mexico overruns prime oiling territory, you are DEAD WRONG.

I also read that Ms. Arellano was an airplane employee! WHAT?! She was trusted with access to our airports, behind the scenes at the very epicenters of terrorism in the US! How could we allow this to happen? Where was Chertoff? If this is allowed to happen, god only knows what else! One minute, you've got Elvira vacuuming the rugs, and the next, FULL BLOWN AL-QAEDA CELLS ARE MAKING YOUR VEGETARIAN BURRITO! Read up, ladies and germs - it can happen!

I guess you could say I'm being harsh; perhaps, my words are far more suited for a Hitler rally than a public opinion blog. However you cut it, this situation is dire. Late last fall, when participating at a Town Hall on campus at Bob Jones University, a student put me on the spot. So I let him have it. Take a gander.

"Mr. Page, how can you call yourself an upstanding Christian when you are so adamant in your denials of your neighbor?"
"Son, do you really expect me to believe that Mexicans believe in God?"

They don't.
And that is a fact.
1 down, 12 million to go.


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Editors note: The opinions of Charleston Page do not represent that of REMAIN ALERT as an entity or its individual participants therein. Furthermore, the editors of REMAIN ALERT would like to offer a post-by-post retort to Page's comments. Fox News was never our favorite cable channel (that would be Cinemax weekends during a Walking Tall marathon), nor our source of day-to-day happenings (that would be hearsay).

1. Mexico is anything but a shit-box country. It is beautiful, as are it's residents.
2. The Forest Whitaker reference is a commercial played before motion pictures telling audiences to silence their phones during the film. It is not an immigration rally, but a public service announcement from the people at AT&T. All participants were actors.
3. Mexicans believe in God, probably the same God that Mr. Page believes in. It is one of the largest Roman Catholic countries in the world. However there is still a contingent of Natives whom await the return of Tepeu.
4. Phone calls placed to Bob Jones University Public Relations department have turned up zero evidence that Mr. Page spoke there recently, and in fact, one representative (anonymously) referred to him as a "twisted, racist, self-serving assclown."